Albert Peterson
Young man in
his early 30’s. President of Al-Mae-Lou Music Corporation. Conrad Birdie’s
manager. He is in love with his
secretary, Rose, but won’t commit because he is a big Momma’s boy. He’s
charismatic and charming, but definitely is under his mother’s thumb.
Lines/Songs to Memorize
(Rose is
threatening to leave forever because Albert won’t commit to marriage—after 8
years! Albert says:) “Rose, I’ll make a
deal with you! Stay with me, help me get the money to pay Conrad’s guarantee,
and as soon as I’m out of the red…I’ll dissolve Al-Mae-Lou and go back to the
academic life! And I promise you, as soon as this thing is settled, it’ll just
be the two of us, Rose! In perfect bliss. (an
idea for a new Conrad song hits him) Bliss! Kiss! That rhymes! I wonder if
anyone used it before. Oh, what difference does is make! It’ll be great for the
song!”
Harvey Johnson
Harvey is
the total NERD, but he’s not shy about asking out the ladies! His voice cracks
when he sings, and he just wants to get a date for the prom! The lyrics here
are a little hard to read—it says, “Hello, Mister Henkel. This is Harvey
Johnson, Can I speak to Penelope Ann?” There are no spoken lines to memorize.
Hugo Peabody
He is
all-American and good looking. He is Kim’s “steady” boyfriend and very jealous
of Conrad! He gets to knock Conrad Birdie out during the “One Last Kiss”
scene. No solo singing for Hugo.
Lines to Memorize
(someone will read Alice’s part for you)
Hugo: (bursting forth) What’s so important? I’ll
tell you what’s so important! The day after I give her my pin, she goes around
kissing someone else, that’s what’s so important! I want you to know I’m quite
upset about this. I’ve already had several headaches and a nosebleed!
Alice: Why,
Hugo, I believe you’re actually jealous of Conrad Birdie!
Hugo: Me jealous? I’m the opposite of jealous. I’m
very jealous! And I have every right to be. Kim’s my steady!
Conrad Birdie
Huge rock
and roll star. Think ELVIS PRESLEY--that is who Conrad Birdie is supposed to
act, look, and sing like. He’s arrogant, cocky and totally self-centered.
Flirts with ALL women. Doesn’t really have spoken lines, so MUST be a great
singer and Elvis-style dancer. Have FUN
at the audition. Please dance/move while singing the following:
Kim’s
disgruntled father. He does NOT appreciate all this Conrad Birdie nonsense. He
has some of the funniest lines in the show and needs to be a great actor. Bring your sense of humor is you want to be
Mr. MacAfee!
Lines and Song to
Memorize
(He’s
feeling very frustrated since Conrad is actually staying in his house. Someone
will read Kim’s line for you)
Kim:
Daddy, I wish you’d hurry! I want
to have all this mess cleared away before Conrad comes down!
Mr.
MacAfee: This mess, as you call it, Kim, happens to be
my breakfast. And I intend to enjoy it! Last night I gave up my room to a guest who repeatedly
referred to me as “Fats.” Telephone calls were made on my phone to New York,
Chicago, Fairbanks, Alaska, and Hong Kong. I slept in a camp cot with my feet
in the fireplace and my head in an ashtray. Outside my window three harpies
shrieked, “We love you, Conrad” four thousand seven hundred and twenty-three
times!!!! And now I have lost my two fried eggs!
(His song is
on the following page. Be sure to sing it down an octave—man’s voice!)
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